Household Chore is not a woman's sole responsibility
“Oh my God…it was a tiresome day,” complained Arushi. “My boss was really on my head, he was just waiting for me to return from my vacation, sadist!”
“And this traffic, it takes a toll on your patience,” started Aniket. “I don’t know how you manage to drive so calmly.”
“There is no way out….maintaining calm saves the anxiety….otherwise I would die of it one day….you know my travel route, right?” said Arushi.
“Offcourse, why the hell….everyone has to come and stay in this city,” remarked Aniket.
“Huh! The reason is same as yours and mine,” mocked Arushi. “Oh! I so need a steaming cup of coffee.”
“I too” said Aniket. “Darling….”
“What? Don’t you remember we had decided to distribute household chores? Please Ani…atleast today….see how tired I am!” pleaded Arushi.
“But you make the best coffee in the world Aru…please…”Aniket sugar coated the demand.
“Offcourse, you know what? Our mentalities are still the same…age old! Like every other day….I will make coffee and you will relax…”walked off Arushi to the kitchen. This was there regular story, though both were professionally as busy, the household responsibilities always laid on Arushi’s shoulders. Aniket just said but never worked towards sharing that load.
Sounds similar? Ok, here’s another for provoking your memory.
“Aniket, Aniket….please come….it is very late already….the dining table is laid,” shouted Arushi. “Oh God, I think we need a 24X7 domestic help, it is very tough for me…what do you think Ani?”
Aniket while walking towards the dinner table from the bedroom “Aru, do you have any idea how much they charge? We already have a domestic help and cook, which is digging a hole in our pocket.”
“But……..” started Arushi.
“Ok, we will sleep over it,” Aniket cut the conversation off. “Aru, it is the same cabbage every day…after long days of work…our bodies demand nutrition, I guess.”
“So why don’t you get the veggies…it is not my sole responsibility,” remarked Arushi.
“My mom, look at her….she works day and night…..without complain. And you, with all the help you have….you only know to complain,” Aniket was angry.
“Your mother does not work or drive…..her only concern is the kitchen. How do you expect me to remember the vegetable stock and the presentation together….God damn it! I am not a machine….” Arushi had tears. “Do you really think that men and women are equal? While I am doing everything that you are doing, or your father may have done…..you expect me to do what your housewife mother does as well?”
Another familiar conversation isn't it? Is it not thought provoking or alarming, that with progress we are teaching the females to work hand in hand with males, but are we teaching the males to share the household responsibilities too? Today’s working, modern man, wants a self reliant, working partner to share the economic load but is he prepared to cook, dust and clean if required?
Sharing is caring. And marriage is a burning example of sharing, sharing space, love, emotions and good and bad times. In this era of crumbling relationships and adultery, I believe in this institution whole-heartedly. I believe that this institution is the backbone of uniqueness of the Indian society. With the ever increasing influence of the western world in our lives, we tend to forget ourselves and culture, which I firmly want to hold on to. But one thing must be remembered and appreciated, holding on to culture does not necessarily imply, clinging on to the age old social taboos. To me progress is perpetual, it only accelerates, never to retard again. Think of the process of evolution. Don't you think, progress, modernization are all alike evolution? Ape man has evolved to be today’s modern man. But evolution was enlightenment of body and mind both and hence should be the progress that today’s world sees. From mobile phones to IT boom, today every aspect is touched in lightning speed, but has our minds evolved too?
I am not very conversant with the evolution of man and how both the genders survived the rough tides of life. But sources indicate that there was a time, when females ruled, they were respected and regarded. However gradually with the increase of physical strength males took to ruling spree and females lost their supreme power. However, I do not have the details of this changing process. But what I know is, progress continued, though this time it was confined to the worldly things. Males continued to dominate the society and females drowned in the dark trenches of disrespect, crime, humiliation and objectification. However time and mentality changed though slowly and women started to walk out of the dark dungeon and showcase their qualities. Today a man and woman, literally walk hand in hand and witness the illumination of advancement together. But has the society at large really accepted this equality, or is it just something nice to talk about?
As I already pointed, today’s woman is capable of being the bread earner, but has the man come over his large ego and learnt to know the kitchen? Couples like Aniket and Arushi are representative of this change in society. While it will be unfair to generalize but the reality is, that males like Aniket are in abundance, who still nurture an inside full of social stigmas camouflaged by their modern pretending exterior. But as a modern, working wife, I believe that sharing of responsibilities beautify the relationship in ways more than one.
Firstly it is a gesture of love and care. When your partner makes you a cup of coffee after a long day and plants a loving peck on your cheek, the coffee tastes heavenly. This is mutual for both the genders; afterall we all love to be pampered. Moments like this etch never fading memories in our marital life album. Moments that remain with you, moments that grow old with you!
Secondly, it is needed to appreciate and respect each other’s physical limitations. A woman is neither a slave, nor a machine. She is as much blood, bone, mucous membrane, muscle as the man is. Then is she not entitled to the luxury of feeling tired after a mentally and physically exhausting day in office? It is a man’s responsibility to share the household chores as she balances paying the bills at the end of the month. An understanding of this fact, increases mutual respect and hence strengthens the bond.
Thirdly, it teaches children the equality of status of both men and women. Besides they learn to share and behave more rationally as they grow up, which makes them self dependent individuals.
What I believe is the viscous circle of love. When you share, you care and hence you evoke love. While working together or after finishing work, you get more quality time with each other and hence you love more.
Finally, I my belief is that we have come to an era of complete equality. And the bliss of marital life goes strong only when both the partners know to respect each other’s individuality and love each other too immensely for ego to raise its monstrous head. So keep loving and keep sharing because SHARING IS CARING!